Creating the fine cut of my
project was not too difficult, but I did decide to change a decent amount of my
paper near the end to more effectively convey my opinion. My fine cut draft can be found here.
- Key
information about your particular project that you would like anyone who
peer reviews your draft to know.
I would like to know your thoughts if I should have a title page
or not.
- Major
issues or weaknesses in the “Fine Cut” that you’re already aware of (as
well as anything you’d like to know from your editors about those
weaknesses)
One thing that I am aware of is that I still need to finish my
Works Cited.
- Major
virtues or strengths in the “Fine Cut” that you’re already aware of (as
well as anything you’d like to know from your editors about those
strengths)
I believe that I did a good job discrediting the opposing view
point as well as keeping my paper flowing throughout the entire project.
I think you have a great essay! This is clearly a hot button topic and I think this piece of writing really adds a great voice to the argument. A few suggestions I have include a recommendation about flow. Although your paragraphs transition well, I think the sheer amount is rather overwhelming. I think there are definitely a few places which you can combine them. However, I don't think the content should be changed at all.
ReplyDeleteWhat's up, bud? Although it's a little late, I left some comments on your Google Doc. I even stopped Game of Thrones half way through to try and help out.
ReplyDeleteIt just needs some tidying up. I added some things that can help strengthen your argument and provide clarifying information. Overall, it's a huge topic to write on, but you hit most of the talking points. If you have questions or would like some input before the deadline, shoot me an email and I'll pass you my number.