Local Revision: Passive and Active Voice

This was an important blog post because it helped me realize what my voice was portraying in my draft. I realized a great deal about my writing in general as well.

Active (Specific): revolving, sweeps, spittle, rinsing, wafted, swooped, cawed, played, intrigued, gathered, prepared, crashing, agonizing, passed, marked, struggling, worried, pushing, struggle, harmed, debate, tear

Active (General): have, seen, eat, comes, enjoys, go, enjoy, look, see, walked, put, got, going, remain, sign, , provides, rise, allowing, increase, changing, hope, began, struggle, threatened, weaken, hurt, put, work, fight, felt, deserved, changes, seems, , seems, surrounding, keeping, paid, trying, give, raise, including, leading, grow, connected, affect, tell, does, increasing, hoped, represents, takes, approaches, involved, stands, know, realize, encounter, come, wanted, how, run, sees, broken, gives, own, own, provides, explain, protect, enhance, promote, keeping, ongoing, see, fighting, involved, keeping, unionizing, suing, want, make, wants, recognize, feels, aided, classified, affect, ends, increase, affected, created, struggling, live, wanted, make, drafted, work, working, working, paying, see, working, presented, overlooked, hand, passed, aid, realized, goes, able, employ, loses, afford, does, want, live, feel, fighting, want, make, talking, , react, include, causing, reducing, employ, making, pay, offer, shopping, stop, start, shopping, go, driven, dedicated, keeping, need, fire, depends, think, believes, get, deserve, get, prove, thrown, earning, feel, have, grow, become, follow, see, give, feel, deserve, claim, providing, , increase, stating, do, have, increased, experienced, related, provided, employ, , interacted, affect, continue, visit, survive, mark, put, stops, changing, determine, , back, measure, causes, gives, support, hope, require

Passive: be, there, being, is, is, is, would, be, are, are, are, are, are, is, is, are, is, be, Is, are, is, are, is, was, was, there, were, were, is, is, do, there, is, were, would, be, would, is, does, be, are, are, are, being, is, are, are, was, are, is, do, do, feel, are, are, are, is, be, is, will, is are, are, are, are, was, was

1.    Looking at the breakdown of your verb choices here, what do you notice about your current draft? Are the actions in your piece mostly general, vague or non-specific? Are the actions mostly vivid and specific? Are there instances of passive voice? Summarize what you learned by analyzing your verb usage in this way.

What I notice is that I largely have active general verb tense. Most of the verbs I would say are general or specific leaning towards being vivid though. There are a few instances of passive voice but not many. I think that I can change some of my verbs to being more vivid.

2.    Based on this analysis, how could your use of verbs be improved overall in the project? Be specific and precise in explaining this.

If I were able to make my actions more vivid, it could create a better and more gripping reading experience for my author. It will be more interesting because it will help them visualize and “live in” the essay more.

mpclemens. "Reworking, rewriting, removing" 4/13/12
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